Indy- a kid with fur

I am back home with my family in an urn…..

The only difference is that you cannot touch me or tickle and cuddle me , neither I can lick you or wag my tail when the doorbell rings or the garage door opens , but the bonding between us is even more than before as we are inseparable .

Remember I will be again watching you , Rakhi and my dearest bro, Raj with whom I used to have long chats in our own language .

While lying in the cold room in the Cremation centre , let me write a letter to you , dad.

You never heard me speak, but I told you a thousand stories—with every wag, every nudge, every warm sigh against your knee, lying on the lounge looking at you , or lying under mum’s particular recliner chair or sitting just next to you near the dining table .

Dad, now you can delete the reminders for monthly flee treatment dates, my annual vaccination dates , my Senior health check up dates from your diary , leave the social media Labrador groups , stop and unsubscribe the notifications of offers from the Pet food stores , no more brushing my teeth on Saturdays , combing my fur and so on…….You all looked after me so well.

My heart hurts for mum, who used to look after me so well , loved me , used to feed me and brush my fur on Tuesdays , used to talk to me in Bengali as well (which I understood clearly ) Sending you a comforting hug mum . She is grieving a lot, I know , Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.

I can see you all , I am with you at your home from today .

I was there with you since 2014 , the year I was born.
In this 11.5 years I memorized the sound of all yours joy, sorrow , the way your footsteps changed when joy lit you up from within.

I hope you enjoyed your life with me .

We had our own language, you and I. Every morning, with a small piece of biscuit dipped in tea , I used to talk to you .The tilt of my ears said, “Tell me more.” The thump of my tail whispered, “I’m here, I’m here, I’m here.” Until we waited for my bro to get up and cuddle me and kiss me . It’s hard to explain our bonding , my bro . My leash hangs still, but my heart runs with you. I am not truly gone, I am here in every heartbeat, in every tear, in every memory you hold close, my bro.

Dad, You used to put on your walking shoes and call me by my name with the red lease in your hand and I used to come running to you as we both enjoyed walking along the path around our house and at Burns Beach on weekends.

And at night, when my paws twitched in dreams, I was running through fields of forever, always beside you. I used to snore a lot , right ?

I followed whatever you said to me – never jumped on your bed but always jumped and slept in Raj’s bed . He was very close to me . We shared lots of love between us .

I always sat on the particular lounge you designated for me and did whatever you taught me to be a good ” Indy Ma ” as you used to call me . By the way , you remember I loved to listen to any music and watch TV ?

Time is a tricky thing. It gave me just enough to teach you about love—the kind that asks for nothing, the kind that stays.

But if I could stop the clock?

So when my muzzle faded to white and my leaps grew smaller than your sorrow, remember this: Love doesn’t end. It lingers in the squeak of a forgotten toy. It waits for you in the rustle of leaves on our favourite path. 

And if you ever doubt? Close your eyes. Feel the ghost of my fur beneath your fingers, the weight of my head on your foot. I loved you fiercely. Not because you were perfect, but because you were you. 

P.S. : Please eat one more spoon of yoghurt for me , one more bite of bread for me, one more spoon of chanachur on Friday evening  ….I will be sitting by you still and drool . Will look after you all from the other side of the rainbow bridge !

Until we meet in heaven ….